I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
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I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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