I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
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If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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