So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
