I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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