I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
