do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
