I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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