I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
