He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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