Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My ATM looks so different sober.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
