Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
