does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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