my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
