guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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