You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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