Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
