Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
