He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
