Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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