A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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