wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
