dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
