worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
