All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
ok first of all what the fuck
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
