Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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