i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize