You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
