it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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