i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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