operation have a gay friend backfired
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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