But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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