I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You dont lie about slip and slides
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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