That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
