mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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