So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
