And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
