So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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