textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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