Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
