I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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