I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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