Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.