So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
