Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
