I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
