STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.