Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
a search helicopter?!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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