hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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