We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
