somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Never joke about your clitoris.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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