my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
