So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
