bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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