but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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