Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
