Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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