Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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