I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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