they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
