no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Found your dick twin last night
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
