it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
