Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
