I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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