omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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