My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
