oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
nutella sex= disaster
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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