OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
