I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
