Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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